September 2006: Where It Hurts

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

Isaiah 41:10

"No! Don't touch it – it's going to hurt!" That was the cry of our daughter as I attempted to clean and bathe a wound she had incurred whilst playing. I reasoned with her that "if I don't clean it, it will get worse and germs will get to it and make it worse. Let me clean it and kiss it better. OK?"

Because of the kiss that was promised, the trust she had that I was telling her the truth and the belief that I knew best, she agreed to let me clean it.

How often are we like that?

We don't want anyone to hint at, touch or even come near the place of our wounding. The very place where we need attention, where we need cleansing and healing is the all-too-sensitive area where it hurts….

…Where it hurts - there is pain. If any more pressure is applied, it will hurt more and no-one wants to incur further pain.

…Where it hurts - there are memories of sadness; anger, shame and regret. As the memories surface, sometimes we push them aside and get on with our lives. At other times, we embrace them and bathe in the unjustness of it all; the justification of why we did what we did; the wishing to relive that time again and do things differently – but that cannot be.

So how DO we deal with that untouchable place - "where it hurts"? Will we live forever in the cage of anticipated pain?

1. Firstly: Make the “untouchable” place touchable by prayerfully identifying and admitting your own place of hurt.

Don't look down on yourself because of this. It is a part of being human. Until you can face what you are hiding, it will always have a hold over you; it will always be a snare; a shadow in the day and a phantom by night.

2. Secondly: Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to see the reality of the situation.

Remember, your perception of a situation is your version of the truth regarding that situation. It may not be fact, it may not be the version that others have but it is how you experienced the situation so that is what is real and true to you. It also means that sometimes your responses seem strange to others because they do not see what you see or experience what you experience.

3. Thirdly: Hold a funeral service.

Would you know it, one morning, early August as I was meditating on having the peace and love of God and the reality of the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, He was so gentle and brought me to a very painful episode in my life which I would not voluntarily visit by myself. And yet, because I had been meditating on the peace of God, I was able to walk slowly, purposefully through this scene, stage by stage with God literally by my side, filled and assured of His peace. I felt Him so strongly and yet the word "felt" is extremely inadequate and does not do justice to the experience of having Him with me, knowing He was so present, so very present with me.

As I walked through the whole scene again, seeing everybody and everything that was involved, I was able to see people with different eyes and with a different heart. Each person I met, I forgave and released them. The thing is, I did actually believe I had already forgiven them before but this time there was something different – there was a definite, deep and complete absolution. There was peace. There was finality, closure regarding this situation. It was so peaceful and such a safe environment that it enabled me to lay the dead bones to finally rest for them to be disturbed no more and in turn not to haunt me anymore either.

4. Fourthly: Walk in the newness of life

As you turn your back on the funeral service, leave everything there. Walk away with the Holy Spirit knowing you are no longer the same. Don't be drawn into old ways of talking about the past or that particular situation. Don't let your mind wander into those avenues of negativity. Simply say "I refuse to be a prisoner. I've been set free and I will remain free in Jesus' Name".

Your life can be different. You don't have to have the shadows of the past to strangle you, to hold you back whenever you want to make a change; to go forward to pursue the things of God that He has given you.

Today, begin to face the place where it hurts – you won't be alone and just as our children need a kiss to make the pain of cleansing better, God Himself will walk with you, whispering His words of comfort, encouragement and help. Remember, He has promised and assured us:

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10

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